Poison & Wine

This song is stuck in my head, such a moving song. ♥

Need A Change.

By the way guys, Phuket was an awesome getaway...living in a gorgeous hotel + spa + body scrub + good food + shopping + suntanning. What else could I have asked for (:

Will be posting up the over-due phuket photos on facebook soon..I've been too busy watching Running Man hahaha. This is the ultimate lazy life. But it's a really good show! It's suuuuuper funny hahaha please watch it where no one can see you so you won't look stupid laughing by yourself.

Finally got to meet the beloved boy after two whole weeks! (Because I was away in Phuket the previous weekend) I was on a mission to satisfy his taste buds and chase away army blues.

So we headed to Ikea for dinner + shopping! (But he still ended up paying for the food in the end sigh) I finally bought a frame for my Peppie drawing that I've yet to finish! :D Walking around in Ikea looking at interesting interior concepts, beds, kitchen equipments etc made us so excited. Excited for the future when we'd be walking along the same place, shopping for these furnitures for our new home. :B

If there's one thing I'm looking forward to, one biggest thing. ♥

Mattias Adolfsson

I want this boooooook.

Click

Flying Off to the Sun

Like Singapore's not hot enough, 'm flying off to absorb more sun rays tomorrow~

How cute when he did the ♥ 사랑해~ :B

But before I leave, I wanna share two songs that 're stuck in my head with you.

See you (;

Prayer is Essential

Spent the weekend out with the boy because we needed to get things off our minds. It's been a long time since we went out like this. (: Wanted to try Wild Honey but we couldn't because it was so crowded and we didn't have enough time to wait..Still had satisfying food and movie nevertheless. (;

Madagascar 3 was awesome by the way! I had doubts about it at first but now I love it. Love love love the colours used in it, made me a really happy girl for the whole duration of the show (:

I'm taking 10 years to work on this drawing of Pepsicles because I don't have the stamina to sit down for long hours and finish colouring it. But I can't wait to have it framed up and hung on my wall. :D I'm still in the midst of getting used to his absence. Every time I ring the doorbell I subconsciously wait for the sound of his barking and his footsteps. )':

On a lighter note, the Marmite asks if we should get a dog. :D Of course we should. Pepper would love a companion in the house. So I have a few breeds in mind...

A golden retriever. But Marmite says it's too big when it grows old so maybe not. :/

A Shetland Sheepdog, too pretty!

A Beagle (Aww at the photo right!)

A Scottish Terrier, small and stubby :3

Or a Mini Schnauzer yet again? :D I really love this breed of dogs.

I want a puppy this time, I really want one! Although getting a new dog at this point would seem like we're replacing Pepper or something like that, but just the thought of having another dog in the house makes me really happy. And I'm sure Pepper wants us to be happy too! No two dogs in the world can be the same so Pepper can never be replaced. Having a new dog just fills this emptiness that we're all feeling inside us. The missing part of this house...

Phuket in 1 day, can't wait to get a nice tan on the beach, get my hands on some sketches, and have a nice relaxing weekend with the Marmite and the brother. :D

All we need is a prayer, life will turn for the better I'm sure.

Corazón

And I've also been asking myself why I'm acting like this these days.

If only there was someone who knew me better than myself.

Kinda Missing.

I'm just glad the boy's finally coming home today. C:

Save me from my thoughts.

It's funny how music can make you feel so much better instantly. And of course this boy. He has probably seen/heard more than half the tears 've cried.

And I thank God for the family, who shares the same pain, who'd always be there.

-
Death I believe, is a reminder to us that we have to move on with life.

But that doesn't mean that you can say "oh, it's gone. Now let's chuck it aside and pretend it never happened." It hurt so much when you disregarded him, like he's just another 'thing' that's not even worth the last bit of our attention and love. He's someone we all hold close to our hearts, unlike you. We are beings who love and have emotions, unlike you. I don't understand, I don't understand you at all. You are like a piece of block that's so hard to get through to. And I totally understand how she feels now.


It's so hard to go to sleep because every time I close my eyes, my mind brings me through these endless thoughts about the little dog. The first time I ever saw him at my aunt's house, the time when he was at my grandmother's house, the times I placed the biscuits on the floor of different distances just so I could see how far he was able to reach for the them, the times where I'd chase him around the house and he keeps running because he's afraid I'd snatch his toy from him, the times he'd look blankly at me till I call his name and he comes running to me.....

The final image I had of him that day when he laid there, without a breath. It's stuck in my head. For good.

And then it starts all over again until it reaches the same point. And again and again.

Welcome Home, my Dear

Wow I got locked out of blogger last night and got worried because I thought I forgot my password, but in actual fact they changed the id I used to log in. D: I thought I had to create a new blog again. In the midst of searching I found some old blogs and woah, I was amused at the way I used to type. How embarrassing.

Anyways, Peppie came home yesterday.

...in the form of ashes in a little urn. Pepper will always be pepper, still being so heavy even after turning into ashes. I love how carrying the little urn feels like I'm carrying him because the weight feels so real in my hands. I still hear his footsteps and smell him every now and then. It's so hard not to have him lingering in my thoughts when I'm alone/ when I have nothing to do. I'm afraid, afraid to leave the house and come home to the absence of a welcoming bark, coming home to a deafening silence. So spare me if he keeps popping up in the next 89827574567816523 posts.

The 'Uncontrollable Unexpected'.

God says that He does everything for the best--even when it's hard to see what good there is in something so tragic.

In times like this, it's when you see who your true friends really are. Friends who'd show their genuine concern or say words to comfort you, or even just trying to make you feel a little better. Pepper is someone whom I really hold dear to my heart, and I can't express this pain that I'm feeling in mere words. But it's even more upsetting to feel that my friend(s) have underestimated this pain. They'd only remember of your existence and be your close friend in times of trouble, just like how you look to God only in times of trouble.

A Black Hole

I choose to believe that animals go to Heaven too when they die. Unless God tells me a different answer.

"They come and they go, and they leave an empty hole."

So this is how a very, very, very, very, very, very, very very deep black empty hole feels like.

Ever felt like you just wanted this very day to end quickly?

Being a lonely girl today I had Piglet to accompany me. The good thing about soft toys is that they'll never leave you. My eyes are all puffy from the endless free-flow of tears throughout the day. Right now all I do is look forward to the night time and weekends where people come home and the house doesn't feel so empty. The emptiness in the day scares me a lot.

Drawing Peppie took my mind off things a little, it made me notice all the little details of his fur, his face, his eyes, his paws, his nose, every little thing which made him such a cutie. I will frame it up and hang it on my wall because he deserves all these space and attention that I regret not giving him during the times when I wasn't around. It will be a drawing I'm proud of and I hope he sees it from Heaven.

You're one part of my memory that I never ever ever want erased. ♥♥♥ Please come back in my dreams tonight?

God please give me the strength to pull through this.

It's funny how I can still hear your footsteps...

while I sit here colouring your little brown paws.

But Goodbye is such a painful thing. I love you Forever.

Today I was woken up by the horrific news that Peppie had passed away.

I wished I had known better. I knew he had to leave one day but I couldn't bring myself to think about it. I would have told him how much I love him, how much of a dear he was. He's really the best friend, the best companion one could have ever asked for. I was never left alone because he was always here.

Everytime I close my eyes I see him and it's hard not to cry. It feels so empty, like a huge part of me is taken away. I am always bad at saying goodbyes, because this is reality. And reality is so hard to face.

I hope you knew how much I loved you, and will always do.

♥

Where do animals go when they die, God?

Ashley Percival

More of his works here.

Absolute Nothingness.

Last friday night I accompanied the Marmite to Town for her hair cut + dye and we all decided that I should get an impromptu hair dye too. So I did some bleaching highlights and olive green.
(note the colour in the photo is much brighter than the actual colour of my hair)

Though I expected it to be a lot brighter, I was still quite happy with the outcome. (:

So my absence for the past week was because I went to work at some catering service with Anthea, Lizhi and Elena. I'm proud of myself for finally earning some money by myself although it's not much. And it was a fun experience cuz I haven't done this kinda thing before! We were so enthusiastic in doing everything you'd think we were crazy.

Now I'd be starting to work on a project which I'm pretty excited about it... :D I wonder what it'd turn out like!

But in the meantime, I really need to snap myself out of this terrible mood.


-
Why do I look forward to the weekends just to be like this. So restless and bored, yet not doing anything about it. Not knowing what to do about it. Nothing seems like fun/interesting, everything is such a chore. And I'm just not in a mood for socializing and communicating with anyone. I have no idea what I want. I just sit here, do nothing, and wait for a miracle to happen or a spark to light me.

In times like this, I don't understand myself either.
God please save me.