BREATHES.

This feels too surreal, and odd, that 'm actually having my own life back. The last paper is finally over!!!!!

I can finally draw and paint in my own little sketchbook, anything I want, anything I like, anything at all. There's no one to stop, guide, or critique me now (:<

I haven't felt my own presence in a really long while...ever since the semester started. I have been losing myself, getting lost in all the projects and exams that I could no longer feel my own presence. Even alone time wasn't really purely time spent with myself.

This really feels to unreal to me. The semester felt like a long draggy one, yet at the same time it feels like 3 months just flew past me just like that.

Anyhow I am so free now I don't know what to do. Let's start with watching running man (':

Three. More. Days. To. Freedom.

(say hello to my new Dr Martens which accompanied me to the exam hall last wed (: Such comfort really helped me to pull through the long hours of sitting thru the paper)

These pictures very well sums up this lovely weekend I had thanks to the Babsey. (: I sincerely thank God for this boy's presence in my life from the bottom of my heart. Really, I wouldn't know what 'd do without him around. He can be so annoying at times but the next second he can be so cute and the next he's like a comforting pillow where I rest my head, a place that's mine and only mine.

♥

And here I am once again, alone in the four walls of my hostel being very unmotivated to study for the last two papers. But I tell myself this is the last weekend of the sem I am going to travel here carrying such a heavy heart at least.

I hope the weekend's been good to you too!
Happy End of Sem~ (in three days time)

Exam Blues

Because 'm suffering from major exam blues right now, I shall sleep early tonight and for the longest time so I don't have to face this feeling for such a long time. Sometimes I think it's good to have the ability to sleep for long long long hours...

I have almost given up studying. I think I know most things already but 'm sure when my friends start talking about the subject 'll realize how unprepared I am but urgh, I've had enough.

Am I the only one who's suffering such major exam blues now?

Finally in hall tonight, but 'm going straight home after the paper tmrw because I can't stand staying in school anymore.

I hate this feeling of being alone. I just need to be around at least someone. I miss the boy so much although I just saw him last night/this morning. I just wanna be next to him all day and night because it's so comforting. Just his presence alone is enough to make me feel like everything is gna be fine, to make me think positively.

Having the same feelings I had when I was taking my exams in JC...the night before a paper when I couldn't go to sleep and you made a cup of warm, comforting milk for me.

All these depressing thoughts just comes flooding in the moment you're away.


On a side note,
I love how after every talk-it-out-and-crying-session, I feel myself drawn closer to you and falling even more in love with you...

This can't be me

've been procrastinating and escaping the fact that my exams aren't over yet. It just sucks to have to study even after half my life has been sucked out by the crazy projects before this and it felt like school has ended since then.

Like for example IT fair on friday, and we went shopping for winter clothes and shoes today...

've been a really, really, really emotional (maybe unreasonable) girl lately I have no idea why or how I could have controlled myself but what in the world is happening to me?!

It was so bad that I couldn't bring myself to go back to hall tonight because it sucks to be there though theoretically it might be a more conducive place than home.

Just 10 more days and I am free. 10 more days and I'm sure 'll be better.

What do I do?

& so 've been thinking lately,

about this insecurity.
uncertainty.


And it's bugging me.

>48 hours of staying awake

Last Saturday was the Marmite's birthday, so Babsey and I baked some apple cinnamon muffins for her. :D Okay I admit most of the credit goes to him because I was really tired from school and I'm just not as good at baking as him haha. At least I was of some help. :B

So from Sunday till Tuesday (yesterday), a lot of shit happened and Jon and I didn't get to sleep for two nights cuz we were so busy rushing our type process book out in time for submission. I cannot tell you how epic is was. We were walking zombies, or working machines.

 

Nevertheless I really thank God for this 3–days experience because it really taught me a lot. And if all these bad things didn't happen, I wouldn't have been able to produce something that I'm so proud of now. (: I could see how they were a blessing in disguise.

God works in His own ways for our good. (:

I had a 5 + 12 hours of sleep after lesson yesterday and it was so rewarding. But 'm feeling sleepy again now so maybe I should sleep a little more before starting to study for my papers...

Feels like exams are over isn't it? :/

It's Sunday night again.

I'm really curious how the weekends can just pass by so quickly like that every week and how the weekdays feel so damn long.

What did we even do on the whole weekend omg. I only remember watching a movie, that's about it. ): Sigh every Sunday night 'm back at my desk in hall, feeling this sense of emptiness. It's when I miss him the most.

But it's alright, it means we're reaching the end of sem very quickly....

SIGH. Will this workload ever end.

When you feel the need to express all that you've been bottling up all these while,

that's when you know you've had enough.

Don't Judge

Sometimes, you should learn to be more sensitive and aware.
Sometimes, know when you should stop in order to not cross this line.
Sometimes, you should learn not to judge because it comes back to haunt you.

Who are you to be judging others anyway?

Sometimes, words can be like knives.
And that's all it takes, you'll see.

You Make Me Fly

Having some major school blues now– the after-effects of having an awesome worry-free weekend with the boyfriend and the mother.

Last Friday when I was at the Ntu bus stop waiting for the bus to head to J's house, half of me was so happy like I always am every Friday while the other half of me was a little sad when I thought of how fast the weekend would just pass me by like that. And here I am once again on a Sunday night in hall, suffering with this lonely-and-missing the boyfriend & home-feeling again.

Let's talk about the happy happy stuff!

When we reached J's house on friday the first thing I saw on the bed was this:

My belated birthday present from him! :D Belated because it needed time to be shipped over hehe. 've been wanting this for so loooongg alrdy. 'm such a happy girl 'm gna wear it to school everyday C: ♥♥♥

I remember drawing it somewhere in my sketchbook...heheh.

Just playing with some effects from the photo edit apps I downloaded hahah I like this!

It was a fulfilling weekend spent with the boyfriend and the mother. On saturday we went to pay for our Japan trip (yes dec trip to Japan!!), and then headed to Expo to shop for some electronic stuffs and the marmite had to go to the John Little sales haha. J and I were digging the sports kids section for goodies and this is what I found...

The sales person must have thought we were weird.

I don't want to think about work. I don't want to think about work. Weekend please come again quickly. ♥

Birthday Post

Feeling so much better today because I felt so loved. C: What will we do without our friends in school...thank you everyone who made this day so special!

Anyway since 'm happier I shall blog about the weekend too C:

Thanks marmite for the lunch @ Da Shang Hai, had a great time with great food and great company. ♥ And happy birthday to the brother as well, we'll always have each other to wish every year without fail. C: And a free cake to share.

And Babsey who's ALWAYS there to push me on and let me whine and rant on and on and not get sick of it. And sacrificing his weekend rest time to accompany me to get my work done/stuff printed despite him being so tired from trainings. And of course always treating me to good food just to make me happier (explains why 'm so fat now). And thank you for the little celebration/dinner we had with the ruggers on sat night C: Appreciate your attempt at surprising me though I could ttly sense it cuz I know you too well hahaha. ♥

And the roomie who's always here in school with me to suffer thru the rainy days. Thanks for this socuteicandielookingatit present C: You know what makes me happy. ♥

Lastly, I hope all my 3 wishes that I made will come true. :D Goodnight everyone~

From the 20 year old me.

Life has to be more than just this.

I know it sounds too dramatic to be saying this. But on this birthday, I really feel like asking God why was I even born on this earth 20 years ago.

It feels like nothing in my life is working out for me. None. In every direction I turn, there's always someone's expectations I have to face, someone else's problem I have to care about, or just, no one that sees through to my heart and truly understand how I really feel or who I really am.

If everything has to be done for a purpose or a goal in mind, the purpose will never be as simple as just to make me a happy girl for just one little day.

If everyone needed some care and concern, what about me?

Weekdays are a torture to get through as I look forward to the end of each long trying day.

But right now I'm not sure if my weekdays are worst, or my weekends.

It sucks to self-pity and let myself drown in all these sadness and negative emotions, but this is just too much to handle for a day.

On a night like this, I really, really feel like running away. Running to somewhere so far and dark that no one will be able to find me. It's like building up a wall, like closing my eyes, like curling up into a small corner. I don't wanna fall asleep because I don't wanna wake up tomorrow morning because it means having to face the rest of the world and having to brace myself again. I want to escape. I need to escape. Even if they think I am a coward.

She's someone else's angel

I love this song very much it's on replay. ♥
& the lead singer looks so much better in this vid than in their previous ones haha! He's quite cute here.

Here's a peak to what 've been up to today...

A typo-photo collage assignment!

And because I had to finish making this little notebook for myself,

Ohno time should pass by slower I don't wna go back to school. ): It feels so damn good to be staying home on a Monday even though there's a hell lot of work to do.

Classic

The hell week is over, here comes recess week – a toned down version of hell week. I am honestly wondering what the use of recess week is when there's a mountain pile of work to be rushed by the time school reopens )':

Here's a poster design that 've been working on forever. Can't I just print it already because I'm very happy with it? ): Why must keep changing changing changing changing....

And I just discovered today that my official card came in the mail! C: Someone opened it for me and didn't tell me this existed haha! Yaay look so pro now. I'm so proud of my parking today cuz I parked in the middle of the lot and it was so straight. (: And I finally drove without any supervision!! Only with the useless boy beside me who didn't even know how to switch the engine on HAHA.

시간이 가도 변하지 않는 건.

 It's only because I'm trusting you with all that I have, that's why such a scary thought would hurt that much. Sorry babe, I love you ♥

피곤해요

한국어 듣기 시험이 너무 어려워요. :'C I am so drained from having 2 quizzes + korean listening test this week. It's all finally over for now, but I have to rush my poster design by saturday morning and I am so freaking tired. Sighxz.

Anyway last Friday the Babsey had his pop ceremony, so proud of this boy hehe (':

The silver bayonetttt! :D

And then it's been 3 years since we got together...yet it feels like we've been with each other for a longer time than that already. I can't believe how time flies so quickly! Had a good time though we only spent the day slacking away cuz we were too tired to do anything hahaha. I really can't imagine myself with any other guys other than you. ♥

(The secret recipe to Jedidah's creativity...)

Oh it's finally recess week (not really). I NEED to go shopping soon. I need to buy clothes and shoes. And I realize how I'm secretly obsessed over men's shoes. Babe we have to buy more shoes for you.

TGIT.

Type-phase.

Hi & Bye

I can't stand the general mindset people have, that artist do works for free. Just because you heard from a friend's friend or who-so-ever that I'm an artist, doesn't mean I have to take up the extra workload of doing something for you out of courtesy because I'm bad at rejecting people.

It's not that 'm being selfish. Or maybe it's because I'm on a very tight schedule now with not even enough time left for myself that's why I feel this way.

If you were my close friend, I would gladly do anything for you if it's within my capability.

But please stop treating artists like they do design works for free, because ideas and designs don't just drop from the sky.


Gosh why am I so cranky. Random people should stop making me angry for no deserving reasons.


On a lighter note, I had the best monday ever...

Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy C:

This is prolly the first time 'm feeling this happy on a Sunday night and grinning to myself. Maybe because

1. I'm not in school

2. Babsey's coming back in approximately 3.5hours!!! :D

Though I can't be there to fetch him from the airport cuz I gotta prepare for my driving test tmrw morning, I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE HIMMMMM. (grins widely) And I hope I pass my driving so I can go around legally.

Anyway, so here's what 've been drawing last night/this afternoon for a supposed class exercise. It was really therapeutic and imagining my little island made me so excited. And the rest of the time just spent sleeping. I have no idea why I'm feeling this tired all the time.

NO MONDAY BLUES~ HAPPY MONDAY EVERYONE. C:

3 more days

The babsey called two days ago and it was such a relief to hear from him, feels like I haven't seen/heard him for 10 years )': 3 more days I can't wait!!!

I don't know why 've been so stressed just thinking and planning when to do which homework because 've to get them done by the correct dates and it sucks to juggle between hall and home.

Anyway, found some pretty interesting pictures that made my morning before I head out for my driving lesson. C: