Today I went to visit my grandmother, and she cooked up a yummy dinner for us. We sat there--me, my cousin Zac, and her. We talked as we ate, and somehow or another we always ended up talking about my grandfather.
As I'm sitting here and it's roaring thunder raining cats and dogs outside my window, I can't help but imagine what it is like to be in my grandmother's shoes right now, to be in her room all alone at this very moment. To be alone in a queen sized bed. She said that right after he passed away, she couldn't get used to her being all alone in that big house. And she obviously misses him very much up to date.
Every time it's pouring outside in the night like this, it's when I miss the boy the most and I can't stop wishing he was right here with me now. And this makes me think about the future, what would be of me when the time comes and I'd be like my grandmother? How am I possibly going to survive all these rainy nights alone...
I have half a mind to wake earlier in the morning to hit the gym downstairs before going to school to help out with FOC props, but judging from the weather tonight...to be able to wake up will be a big issue. T:
On another thought, I will spend this holiday doing some serious reflecting and pondering on my life and on God, because I feel like I have been such a bad child to Him. And I feel extremely ashamed.
Heart-felt words.
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